All through high school and then through my first half of my freshman year of college, I’ve had boyfriends. Now when I commit, I commit. My shortest relationship was about 3 months long, and that’s the only one that’s been less than a year. I decided to end things because I wasn’t happy. I got to thinking about how much I have been in a relationship, and how little I’ve let myself just be me. That’s why I made the choice to be single for while, and I made a list with reasons that helped me make my decision.
1. I need to figure out ME. My dreams, my goals, and myself.
I’ve spent so much time in various relationships that I haven’t really gotten to step back and figure out what I really truly want. Worrying about the guys I was with and what they wanted/making sure I met their expectations consumed way too much time. From the time I was 13 years old until now, at 19, I’ve been single fora total of 5 months. That’s not what is best for me. I need this time to find out what is best so I can be the best for my future spouse.
2. Nothing (no one) is going to hold me back.
I don’t have to worry about a boyfriend being angry or upset because I want to move away for college or go out for a night with my friends. I can do whatever I please (okay, whatever is legal and not too against my morals) and not feel so guilty because I have a guy angry at me.
3. I don’t have to constantly wonder if I’m enough.
I don’t have to worry about someone else messaging my boyfriend, someone else making him happier than I make him. I don’t have to compare myself to what he’s had in the past or what he may have in the future and worry about making myself into someone I’m not just to make someone else happy.
4. I get to be the lead role in my own movie.
I just find this one pretty fun. I get the spotlight in my life. It’s not me AND. It’s just ME. And for the first time in a long time, I’m really happy with that. I’m proud of who I’m becoming by letting myself take the lead.
5. I don’t have to worry about apologizing to anyone.
Okay this is kind of a repeat of what I’ve already said, but I think it’s SO important. Whether it be apologizing because of who I am as a person, apologizing for not wanting to do something, anything. I don’t have to do it.
6. I get to decide my own self worth.
I don’t need a man to tell me I’m pretty to believe it. I don’t need a guy to tell me I can go far to be able to go far. I can tell myself these things, and guess what – it means even more when I can say it for myself.
7. I’m not someone else’s property.
This is pretty self explanatory. I don’t need to be treated like a thing rather than a person. I am by no means saying every guy does this/treats a girl this way. But I don’t need to risk the chance of it happening right now.
8. I don’t need a label.
I don’t need to be “Bob’s girlfriend” or “Joe’s lady friend” or anything like that. I can just be me, just Taylor.
9. I’m independent.
Okay at this point we’re getting repetitive. But again, the importance of this is so high. I don’t have to check and make sure my actions aren’t going to offend my boyfriend. I can just do.
10. My happiness is my own.
I get to decide if I’m happy. The only factors that affect me right now are what I choose to let affect me. Now this can still be true with a boyfriend, but I personally end up really stressed dealing with my situations on top of my boyfriend’s. I only have my crappy life to deal with 😉
11. No settling.
I don’t feel the need to stay with someone just because we’ve been “together forever” or because everyone thinks we’re “perfect for each other.” When I decide that I’m ready to date again, it’s going to be on my terms, not because I feel like I’ve got to be with someone, or not be with someone, because of other people’s standards.
12. Less drama.
No explaination needed.
13. Girls’ nights whenever I want.
No longer do I feel guilty when I want to just stay in with my roommates or go out with a group of girls. I can spend as much time with my ladies as I want to, guilt free.
14. It’s my decision, I don’t get that much control in my life, but I get this.
I don’t get to choose all of the things that go on in my life. I get to choose this. I get to choose this happiness.
I am by no means saying that ladies my age shouldn’t date. I’m not saying anyone shouldn’t date, or should. It’s a decision that is completely up to YOU. Some people are better off with a significant other, and some are better taking time for themselves. However, I had never thought about the benefits of being single until I realized how unhappy I was in a relationship and couldn’t figure out why. I sat down one night and I thought long and hard about this list. I knew that for me, for this time and place that I’m at in my life, it’s what makes the most sense.
Find what makes the most sense for you right now. Whether it’s having a boyfriend or not, going to college or not, traveling or staying put, whatever it is. Don’t be afraid of what happens when you choose to do what your heart desires. Fear what happens when you decide not to do something for yourself.
Be brave, be bold, be strong.